by Vijay Batra
"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction." Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
With time, people grow; sometimes they grow in different directions. The companionship in a marriage or any relationship so to say goes through phases. Beginning from a euphoric start where everything looks perfect, to a disillusioning reality when you begin to notice imperfections and weakness of your spouse or a loved one.
There is hardly a relationship which has not experienced a crisis, but there is hardly a crisis which love cannot overcome.
Here are 20 simple ways which will not just nurture your relationship; they will also give you immense happiness. Because having someone to love is a reward in itself.
1. Take interest in his/her hobbies.
Even if you are not an expert in sports, wildlife photography, historic novels or whatever unique
hobby defines your partner, it surely makes a difference if you show interest. Accompanying to
an occasional match or a play can show you value the other person?s interests.
2. Make room for one another.
Ironical as it may sound, a relationship is not only about togetherness. It is also about retaining your individual identities. Be it through going out for a women?s lunch or a boy?s night, we all need to bond with our own type at some point in time. A relationship should not leave the other gasping for breath in the name of togetherness.
3. Disagree with respectful words.
Love is not tested in loved moments, but in moments of disagreements. And when they do occur, let the other win, in the name of love. In an argument, it is fair to use words to disagree, but never to disrespect. A tiff once in a while is healthy, but one must not let it become unpleasant.
Cooking a meal is an unfailing way to show you care. Learn to cook your partner?s favorites. Better still; once in a while indulge in cooking as a team. It could be a moment to show your gratitude for the everyday meals, and even a moment to let out your creative side. If you don?t know how to cook, there is always plenty to help in the kitchen.
5. Dress up
When people are in a courtship, they dress up for one another. Very soon, they only make effort to dress up when they have to see others. Don?t stock your finery for rarely occurring events. Wear it to show that you want to look good in the company of your spouse.
Today we have ever new means of connecting to one another. Use it to the fullest. Send a message when not expected. Sometimes give the old-fashioned hand-written note a chance.
In a relation there are innumerable things to be grateful for. It is a simple but under-estimated gesture. People often feel embarrassed to say a sincere word of gratitude. But often, your partner feels their efforts are taken for granted as there is hardly a word exchanged to convey gratitude. Say ?thank you?. Say it with flowers, or a note or something else; but be sure you find a way to do it.
A lot of relationships become stifling because partners receive no encouragement from one another be it for their interests or their jobs. A word of encouragement is nourishing for the mind and yet so simple to do.
9. Make a list
Each partner should put together a list of things they?ve always wanted to see, do or try. Then the two of you can go together and experience new things and discover more about each other?s interests. And don?t confuse this with a regular ?shopping list?.
Give the news channel or daily soap a miss. Listen to your partner sharing how his/her day went. Listen. Listen sincerely and actively. Participate in each other?s concerns.
11. Take a walk
It is a proven fact that walking is not just an exercise for the body, it also opens up the mind. Taking a walk together in nature?s lap can breathe freshness in your relationship. You may also find your partner more open-minded as walking helps to reduce stress.
12. Take a vacation
There is nothing as rejuvenating as a short vacation for the mind and for the relationship. It is important to be away from your home and workplace to be able to see them both in a new light. The relaxation of a vacation eases out a lot of creases between two people. Go camping for a weekend somewhere, it need not be luxurious, having fun is the idea.
13. Compliment your spouse.
Never underestimate a sincere compliment. Sometimes little things can go a long way to give your significant other just the boost they need ? something that makes their day. Let the compliment not be restricted to admiring the appearance, let them be meaningful and deep.
14. Fix it together
There is always a broken window or a runny tap that needs repair. Do it together. Helping one another as a part of a team shows interdependence. It shows the other that we rely on their abilities. It makes the person feel worthy. In fixing these tiny things you could just be fixing a lot of things in your relationship effortlessly.
15. Work on yourself
The best gift you can give your partner is a ?better you? ? someone calmer, more understanding, with more flexibility. When you upgrade yourself, you upgrade the nature of your relationship. Simple and rewarding as it is.
16. Celebrate small occasions
Everyone plans for big occasions, but small occasions are what life is filled with. Have a plan for weekends, month ends, success in mid-term review of your spouse, completion of a project, completing a year at his/her hobby class, complete repayment of the car loan, buying a new oven or a refrigerator ? these are our everyday moments which matter so much to us yet we don?t consider them worthy of celebration!
17. Change your routine
Many couples experience stress in their relationship due to the monotony of everyday domestic issues and chores. Buying grocery in the evening can be a very different experience if you chose to do it in the morning after a relaxing walk. Change the pattern of your activities, do the everyday things differently.
18. Have "together" photographs around you
Having pictures of you together with your partner is a visual reinforcement of their presence and of the good times in which they were taken.
19. Connect to your spouse's parents and family
These are the people who mattered in your partner?s life before you arrived. In reality, they still do, but have occupied a back seat when a person commits time in a relation. Extend your warmth to your spouse?s family. You will get back much more than you probably know.
Give a gift when not expected. Everyone loves receiving a gift and it is very satisfying to the giver as well. Keep an eye open for finding something you know your partner has been longing to receive.Even if you made the effort to combine some of these points in your unique way, from time to time, you are sure to see a positive change in the quality of your relationship.
Think Inc. wishes you a Happy Valentine's Day; celebrate with your loved ones! Read other articles at: www.thinklink.in
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